Valentine’s Day isn’t all love n’ roses for everyone. I personally used to hate it. I wasn’t unhappy with being single, but Iwas annoyed that I had nobody to take me on a date.
Dates always just sounded like a lot of fun. You’d go see a show or a movie, you’d eat nice food, and you’d drink good wine. It felt like on February 14th everybody was doing it and, as a defiantly single woman I couldn’t have a slice…
…or could I?
It’s a strange that in a world where we love people who are motivated and assertive, ‘dates’ are still a game for two. I’d understand it if this was a Victorian romance novel where every forlorn maiden was expected to wait on her Mr Darcy to swoop, but this it’s 2017. We can do so much better.
Enter the self – date
That’s right, my go to solution for Valentine’s Day blues (or any kind of blues really) is now to show myself a little bit of TLC and do it alone. The ‘self-date’ is an idea I wish I’d acted on way sooner, because by not embracing it right away I’ve lost hours – maybe even days – of fun, personalised brunches and nights out.
The idea itself is pretty simple, treat yourself to an outing or experience just because you can and you deserve it. If you love lounging around in cafes, there’s no reason you can’t cuddle up in the corner of your favourite coffee joint and watch the world go by. If a day of indulgence and pampering is more your style, why not book a manicure or grab yourself a face mask? After all, it’s just you going on this adventure – you can spend as much or as little money as you like!
When you’re on a self-date, all the decisions are up to you. You can pop into a book store, take a breather in the park, or even take an hour to do your make upjust because it’s fun. It’s the best kind of selfishness, the kind that we all deserve a bit of once in awhile.
But is it easy?
Yes, and no. Once you get into the swing of it, taking yourself out and doing a bunch of things you think are fun is a cinch. But getting yourself into the solo date frame of mind is a little more tricky.
We’re bombarded with films, T.V shows and advertisements featuring happy, stereotypically heterosexual couples illustrating the word ‘love’. In reality, self-love is just as important and in many ways more frequent too.
It takes guts to step into a restaurant for dinner and ask for a “table for one please”, but with space to yourself and license to observe the world around you, the bravery is well worth it. Other self-date options can involve no human interaction whatsoever. I’m personally pretty into scenic walks and my favourite Spotify playlist in the evenings, without anyone else telling me where to be or asking why I’m there.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
If you have someone you’re spending time with this Valentine’s Day, that’s fantastic. But if not, accept a challenge this year and organise an indulgent date for yourself, by yourself. The possibilities are endless and all specifically, gloriously ‘you’.
I reckon you’re worth it.
Lots of love,